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Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel

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Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel is a 2009 American live-action/CGI comedy film and sequel to Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Alvin

[edit]
  • Everybody, shake what your mama gave y'all!
  • Holla! The cheese balls are in the hizzouse!
  • (as he and his brothers are shocked at seeing the Chipettes with Ian) They are with Ian?!
  • (pointing to Ian Hawke; threateningly) Oh, it is on like Donkey Kong!
  • (to Simon after finding him in the dumpster) Okay. I am a total jerk. I admit it. So, are we cool, now? (holds out his hand for Simon to shake but Simon violently pulls him in the dumpster and starts wrestling him)
  • (to an eagle as it is about to harm Theodore) Look, um, I get why you want Theodore. I do. But I am sorry, I cannot let that happen. He is my brother. Not that he'd know that, because I have been such a big jerk lately. (Theodore smiles at Alvin, forgiving him) If anyone deserves to be eaten, it's me. (The eagle closes in on Alvin) Whoa! Not literally!

Simon

[edit]
  • I thought Alvin was messy. This is literally disgusting. I feel like I am living in a dumpster!
  • Oh, you have got to be joking. A taco? In a blanket? Toby!
  • (while playing dodgeball) Glasses! Glasses! You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you?! (gets hit by a dodgeball) Right in the pancreas.
  • (not pleased to see Ian) I thought I smelled a rat.

Theodore

[edit]
  • We can play Monopoly. We play Monopoly with Dave all the time.
  • (after the Eagle mascot falls down the stairs) That was not very fun-ish.
  • Does this make my butt look smaller?

Brittany

[edit]
  • We are so going to destroy those Chipmunks!
  • You know, Alvin? Ian was right. You do not care about anyone but yourself. [begins to leave but turns around] Oh, and by the way, I never wanted to win this way.

Jeanette

[edit]
  • I do not want to destroy them.

Eleanor

[edit]
  • We either sing together, or not at all!

Dialogue

[edit]
Theodore: Dave!
Alvin: Dave!
Simon: Dave, you're alive!
Dave: Hey, guys!
Alvin: It was an accident, I swear!
Theodore: Are you okay?
Alvin: I'm really sorry, Dave.
Dave: I'll be fine. I'm just going to be stuck here for a while. And until I get out, I've made arrangements for my Aunt Jackie to come stay with you.
Alvin: Who's Aunt Jackie?
Theodore: The one who sends us those metal buckets of yummy popcorn for Christmas.
Alvin: Oh, Popcorn Jackie.
Alvin and Simon: (answer the phone) Hello?
Dave: Boys, it's me.
Simon: DAVE!
Alvin: Dave as in, "Dave"?
[The nurse is holding Dave's phone for him to talk into in his hospital room in Paris]
Dave: Well, I guess since you answered the phone, you haven't burned down the house yet. (smiles)
Alvin: Have a little faith, Dave!
Theodore: Yeah! (falls off the pot rack) Mayday! (puts too much force on a pan he lands on, and it crashes to the floor)
Dave: (his smile fades) What was that?
Simon: (whispers to Alvin) Don't stress him out.
Alvin: Uh, that was Aunt Jackie. Yeah. She's making us a zesty five-course meal. (chuckles)
Dave: Really? Well, can I talk to her?
Theodore: She's practicing her pole dancing.
[Alvin and Simon look at each other, incredulous, and Theodore just shrugs, not knowing what he said]
Dave: Pole dancing? What happened to making dinner? Guys, what's going on?
Alvin: Got to go, Dave!
Dave: Alvin, I'm not kidding.
Alvin: Feel better!
Dave: ALVIII—!
Alvin: (hangs up, cutting Dave off) Yep, nobody does that better than him.
Alvin: So, this is a classroom. (sniffs) I love the smell of zit cream in the morning. (he and his brothers hop on the top of Ms. Ortega's desk) (to the female students) Hello, ladies!
[The girls see the Chipmunks and recognize them]
Girls: Is that the Chipmunks?!
[They get up from their desks, excitedly, and run over to meet them]
Theodore: Hi, I'm Theodore. Hi, I'm Theodore. Hi, I'm-
Simon: (covers Theodore's mouth, cutting him off) Yes, he's Theodore, in case you missed it. And I am Simon.
Alvin: The name's Seville. Alvin Seville. (Becca extends her hand to Alvin, which he takes) Enchanté...(kisses and strokes Becca's finger)...mademoiselle.
Becca: (flirtatiously) Awww...
Ryan: (frowns as he watches the Chipmunks hit on the girls) Somebody's going to have to knock those guys down to size.
Xander: Well, that should be pretty easy. I mean, they're only eight inches tall.
Someone Offscreen: I had fifteen cars. (A hand starts searching through the garbage) I mean, that's like five more cars than anybody really needs.

(The hand belongs to a man with a bald head, black-rimmed glasses, and a red bathrobe. His name? Ian Hawke. Yes, after losing the Chipmunks, Ian lost his job and every cent he had. Now he lives in the basement below Jett Records and eats from the garbage just to survive.)

Ian Hawke: I had seven maids. I had courtside seats to the Lakers. (makes coffee with some used coffee grounds and filter from the dumpster and water from a nearby spigot) Even my maids had courtside seats to the Lakers. (turns off the spigot and walks back to the dumpster) And now look at me. LOOK AT ME! (to a rat that lives in the dumpster) I lost everything. Except for my dignity, they can't take that away from me.
Alvin on Radio: ♪ Girl! You really got me now! ♪
Ian: And it's all because of them! (turns towards a radio that is playing the Chipmunks' music)
Alvin on Radio: ♪ You got me, so I do not know where I'm going! ♪
Ian: (throws the radio into the dumpster in frustration) Oh hey! (pulls out a leftover muffin) Breakfast! (takes a bite out of the muffin) Now I run around, hoping and praying that I can find other animals that can sing or dance. I mean... (The rat squeaks) Wait a second. You don't sing, do you? (The rat steals Ian's muffin and runs into the dumpster) Hey! Hey! That's my muffin! (jumps into the dumpster) Give me my muffin, you dirty rat! (slowly rises out of the dumpster, covered head-to-toe in trash) I will get you, Chipmunks. (takes a bite from the muffin)

(Back at the school, the Chipmunks are on a lunch table with the girls they rizzed up earlier that day in homeroom)

Alvin: So, I'm on Jay-Z's yacht, right? And I say, "Jay, where's Beyonce?" And he says, "She's holding a plate full of cheese balls, turn around." And guess what? She was!
Girls: (laugh)
Simon: P.S., Dave left me in charge. Stayin' up 'till ten, every night. Oh, yeah.
Girls: (laugh)
Theodore: Hey girls, look what I can do! (places a tater tot on the end of a fork and stomps on the part that pokes the food, sending the tater tot flying into the air, which he catches in his mouth)
Girls: Aw!
Becca: You're Theodore-able!
Theodore: Thank you!
Girl 2: You're so cute!
Ryan: (walks by, "accidentally on purpose" knocking Alvin's food tray onto the floor.) Oops! Oh, I am so sorry!
Alvin: (looks over the edge of the table to inspect the damage) It's cool, no harm done.
Ryan: Not yet. Girls, please? Private conference. Thank you! (The girls sigh as they get up and leave. Ryan places his tray on the table and looks the Chipmunks straight in the eye.) Listen up, rock stars. If you talk to those girls again, you're dead. If you look at those girls again, you're dead. If you even think about those girls...are you thinking about them?
Alvin: Well, I am now...
Ryan: That's it. You're DEAD! (tries to catch the Chipmunks, but they run out of the cafeteria)
Alvin, Simon and Theodore: Run!!!
Ryan: Xander, come on! Get back here, you dirty rats!

(The Chipmunks jump onto a stair railing and slide down, with Ryan, Xander and five other boys in hot pursuit.)

Alvin: Hang ten, bros!

(Reaching the bottom of the stairs, the Chipmunks jump off the railing.)

Simon: Scatter!

(Simon and Theodore scurry in different directions, and Alvin hides behind the staircase, watching Ryan running after Simon.)

Ryan: Go, go! That way! Over there!
Alvin: (comes up with an idea to distract Ryan) Oh, Ryan! (runs up the stairs and Ryan runs after him) Hey, slowpokes! Catch me if you can!

(When Alvin reaches the top of the stairs, trying to run away, Ryan and Xander block him.)

Ryan: You're dead, furball!
Alvin: Not! (jumps out of the way right as Ryan and Xander both try to grab him) It's wedgie time! (gives them each a wedgie and scurries off, laughing maniacally as they grunt in pain)
Ryan: Oh, my butt!!

(Meanwhile, Theodore, having gotten away from the bullies, hides behind a bench, catching his breath. His eyes land on a large foot with talons, belonging to a giant eagle statue.)

Theodore: Oh boy. Uh, eagle. AH! Eagle! Eagle! (runs away)
Ryan: Get them!
Theodore: AH! Bully! Bully!

(Theodore and Simon run away quickly. While Theodore gets away, Simon runs into the bathroom.)

Ryan: This way, this way! (catches Simon) Gotcha!
Simon: Guys, wait, wait! Time out!
Ryan: It's swirlie time! (he and Xander take Simon into a stall.)
Simon: Come on, come on, guys, this is so 1980s-- (Xander flushes the toilet and Ryan holds Simon by the tail.) --AAH! Please! Please! (Ryan lowers Simon into the toilet, lifts him out, and Simon coughs and sputters.) Oh man! Ugh, come on!
Ryan: That-That's a good look for you.
Simon: Oh, thank-- YAAH!

(Ryan and Xander drop Simon into the toilet and run out of the bathroom. Alvin runs inside to look for Simon, seeing him struggling to get out of the toilet.)

Simon: Can't swim! Help!
Alvin: Grab on, Simon!
Simon: (grabs Alvin's tail and pulls himself out of the toilet.) Thanks. (shakes himself off)
Alvin: Are you okay?
Simon: Well, uh... considering that you just saved me from drowning in a toilet, I'm uh... pretty good.
Alvin: I'll be right back. (walks out of the bathroom and into the corridor, and Simon follows him, realizing what Alvin was going to do)
Simon: Alvin? Alvin! We're not going to solve anything with violence.

(Simon and Alvin spot their brother hanging in the locker room. Ryan and Xander are poking Theodore's rear.)

Ryan: It's the fatty ratty.
Theodore: Cut it out!
Ryan: This rat has serious junk in the trunk.
Theodore: Hey!
Xander: Yeah, little fatty.
Theodore: Stop it!
Ryan: He jiggles when I poke him.

(This is the last straw for Alvin and Simon: they lunge at Ryan and Xander with fury. We cut to the outside of the school where Ryan and Xander are heard screaming.)

Ryan: MOMMY!

(Later, the Chipmunks are waiting outside Dr. Rubin's office.)

Theodore: Simon, does this make my butt look smaller? (lowers the bottom of his sweatshirt, covering his tail)
Simon: Theodore, your butt looks fine. Those guys are just jerks.

(Ryan and Xander exit Dr. Rubin's office, their clothes torn up and claw marks all over their bodies. They flinch when they see the Chipmunks glaring at them. Alvin growls and barks viciously at them like a mad dog, forcing the bullies to flee, terrified.)

Dr. Rubin: Gentlemen?

(The Chipmunks see Dr. Rubin, jump off the table they were on, and enter her office.)

Dr. Rubin: You threatened to climb inside of him and build a nest.
Simon: That was out of line. I'm not even sure that's physically possible.
Dr. Rubin: I should suspend all three of you.
Alvin: Please do.
Dr. Rubin: Instead, I have a better idea. Due to budget cutbacks, we are in jeopardy of losing our beloved music program.
Simon: That's awful!
Dr. Rubin: I know, but there is one small ray of hope. Every year, the district sponsors a music competition. And the winner's school receives $25,000. If we win, we can save our program.
Simon: And you want us to perform?
Alvin: Because I didn't think you were a fan.
Dr. Rubin: Why don't you sleep on it? (reaches for her jacket, revealing a tattoo of the Chipmunks on her left arm, to the Chipmunks' surprise)
Alvin: Wait! What's that?
Simon: Wait, that's us!
Theodore: I look skinny.
Dr. Rubin: (shocked that they noticed) Promise me that you won't say anything. A principal has a certain image to uphold, and if the faculty ever found out about this, I could— (laughs excitedly and bangs on her desk) I just cannot believe that you're actually sitting in my office! I have all of your CDs. I even went to see you last year in Denver, that's where I got this. It was my birthday, and I was like, "Ooh, the Chipmunks!" (Alvin smiles nervously.) So, what do you say, will you represent our school?
Alvin: ...honestly, suspension still sounds pretty good to me.
Theodore: Come on, Alvin. What do you say? One for all and three for one!
Simon: Well, put, Theodore. Very well put. Count us in!
Alvin: (unenthusiastically) Yay.
Dr. Rubin: Go Eagles! (pretends to screech like an eagle)
Theodore: Eagles?! Where?! (hides and looks around nervously)
Simon: Alvin, you promised Theodore we'd hang out. We are watching Meerkat Manor tonight. No pretty girls.
Alvin: Dude, I can't swing it today, bro.
Simon: That's what you say every day, Alvin. Need I remind you it's your day to do the laundry?
Ryan: You better listen to your daddy, Alvin. You do not want to get grounded. OH!
(After meeting the Chipmunks eye-to-eye)
Jeanette: Oh, that Simon is dreamy!
Eleanor: I think Theodore was looking at me!
Brittany: Yeah, I know. But guys, remember what Ian said? We cannot trust them!
(After school, the Chipmunks are in the music room with Julie and Dr. Rubin, practicing for the competition. Julie is playing the piano while the Chipmunks sing.)
Chipmunks: ♪ Come on, come on, get up, get up, let's go won't you follow... ♪
(The Chipmunks trail off while they are singing, smiling dreamily as they seem to forget the rest of the song.)
Alvin: Wow.
Ms. Ortega: What happened?
Alvin: (referring to Brittany) I never thought I'd say this, but...pink is my new favorite color!
Simon: (referring to Jeanette) Her glasses were quite fetching.
Theodore: (referring to Eleanor) She's like a beautiful green gumdrop!
(Alvin & Simon fight over a blanket.)
Alvin: Stop hogging!
Simon: I'm not hogging.
Alvin: You might as well be rooting out truffles in the French countryside, because you are, in fact, HOGGING!
Simon: I'm not!
Alvin: Are so!
Simon: Not!
Alvin: So!
Simon: Y-you knew about this, Alvin? Does the word "brother" mean anything to you?
Alvin: (stammering, feeling really guilty) Yes, of course.
Ryan: Yeah well, he has some new brothers now that he's on the football team.
Simon: (angrily, teeth clenched) You still haven't picked up that litter.
Ryan: You want me to get rid of litter?
Simon: Yeah.
Ryan: Let's start with you. (picks up Simon)
Simon: Hey, let go, let go! No! (Ryan throws him into a trash bin.)
Simon: Ok. Alvin, I am going to put this behind us, for Theodore's sake.
Alvin: I know. That's why I'm giving you the Alvin guarantee that I will be at that sing-off Friday night.
Simon: Wait wait wait wait. Why wouldn't you be there?
Alvin: Um, because, uh, I have a, uh.. (mumbles)
Simon: What?
Alvin: A... (mumbles again)
Simon: (not understanding) You have a what?
Alvin: A FOOTBALL GAME! There, I said it! A football game! (Before he can react, Simon jumps on him, pushing them both into the dumpster.)
Eleanor: (about her green shoes) Ian says I need to work on being taller.
Theodore: I think you look great just the way you are.
Simon: (in a threatening tone) Alvin, do NOT miss that sing-off.
Alvin: Don't worry, Simon. I'll be there. I can do both.

(At Alvin's football game, the crowd roars like a bloodthirsty Roman Colosseum.)

Man on P.A. 1: Ok, folks, time to get behind your undefeated Warriors. The visiting Eagles are down by five with about 30 seconds left in the game. Time is running out for the Eagles.

(The mascot does a somersault.)

Mascot: Go Eagles!
Man on P.A. 2: Quarterback Ryan Edwards really needs to make a move here or this game is over.

(Alvin's on the bench.)

Alvin: I know they're going to put me in. They've got to put me in!
Ryan: (gets sacked) Timeout! Timeout!
Man on P.A. 1: Timeout, Eagles. Fourth and fifteen with nine seconds remaining in the game.

(Ryan makes an "A" with his hands.)

Man on P.A. 1: Substitution, Eagles.

(The Eagles huddle.)

Ryan: Alright, boys. It's time for the big A.
Alvin: (jumps onto Ryan's shoulder) I'm going to crush them! I'm bringing the PAIN! The Alvinator is in the house!
Xander: Are you sure about this?
Ryan: Fourth and 10, Xan. We need to go with the secret weapon. Trips right, Alpha left, motion on me. Time to make history, boys. Ready!
Eagles: Break!
Girl: Defense!

(The Eagles and the Warriors get in formation.)

Footballer: This am not no dance, baby!
Alvin: I'm taking you down, Jennifer!
Linebacker: You're the one going down, rat face.
Alvin: (imitating Hannibal Lecter) I'm going to crack you like an acorn and eat you for dinner with some fava beans and a nice Chianti! (slurps like H.L)
Linebacker: Is he talking about my father?
Ryan: A-42! A-42! (Alvin scampers off) Hut!

(Ryan takes the snap and throws the football with Alvin on it to the end zone)

Alvin: Incoming!

(The football lands on top of Alvin in the endzone. The referee blows his whistle and holds both of his arms up, signaling a touchdown. Alvin gets up and holds the football in the air.)

Ryan: Yeah!
Man on P.A. 1: Touchdown, Eagles!
Alvin: Oh, yeah! Come on! That's what I'm talking about. Don't hate the player, hate the game. And I love how awesome I am! (does a victory dance)
Man on P.A. 1: Final score, Eagles 15, Warriors 14.
Alvin: Oh, what do you think about that, suckers? Oh, yeah! In your faces! That's what I'm talking about!
Ryan: (lifts up the football with Alvin on it) You're like the Randy Moss of chipmunks!

(Everyone crowds around the Eagles.)

Alvin: Yeah! Give me an A! Give me an L! Give me a V! Give me and I! Give me an N! What does that spell? Awesome! I'm the king of the world!
Ryan: Party with the MVP!
Alvin: Oh, yeah!
Ryan: Party with Alvin!
Alvin: You got that right!
Ryan: Everybody to the beach house!
Alvin: Let's do it!
Crowd: Al-vin! Al-vin! Al-vin! Al-vin!...

(Everyone goes to celebrate their win.)

(The next morning, Alvin looks around for Theodore, attempting to apologize to him, but he was nowhere to be seen)
Alvin: Theodore? Theodore? (checks the living room and the kitchen) Theodore, I don't blame you for being mad...uh-oh. (finds a note on the fridge) "I ran away from home. Don't look for me at the zoo, 'cause I'm not there." Oh no, Theodore.
Ian: Driver-man, take me to the arena, VIP entrance. Tout de suite.

(Jeanette reaches for the lock, but Brittany signals her to wait.)

Ian: How about a little moonroof action? (opens the moonroof) Moonroofs are go! Rooves? Moonroof? Roofs? Rooves? (spots a bottle of champagne in front of him) Ooh, champagne! Ha ha! Don't mind if I do!

(While Ian is distracted, Brittany removes the lock with Jeanette's help and opens the cage door.)

Ian: You know why I don't mind if I do? Because tonight, we've got to toast to a very special someone named me! Ha ha! (removes the foil on top of the bottle; the Chipettes climb on top of the cage and escape through the moonroof without Ian noticing) they said I couldn't do it. They said I'd never bounce back. Guess what? Time to kiss my sweet— (pops open the champagne just as Eleanor escapes through the moonroof) Ooh! Ah, yeah! (pours the champagne into a glass) A toast, to the ladies who're gonna make the world forget about the Chipmu— (turns towards the cage but realizes that the Chipettes are gone when he sees the cage door wide open and looks around) What? (turns around just in time to see Eleanor sliding down the rear windshield)
Eleanor: (giggles) See ya!
Ian: No! No no no! No! (stands up, seeing out the moonroof) What are you doing? (his expression darkens when he sees who's helping the Chipettes: his former moneymaker Alvin, who is driving just behind the limo.) ALVIN!
Alvin: (tosses the Chipettes some extra helmets) Hi Ian! Good to see you! You never write! Oh...
Ian: No, Brittany, no—
Alvin: (motions to the Chipettes) Come on, girls!
Ian: I signed a contract!
Eleanor: (jumps down to the motorcycle) Wahoo!
Brittany: Jump, Jeanette!
Jeanette: Uh—
Ian: Wait!
Jeanette: I'm not really good at— (gets pushed to the motorcycle by Brittany) Whoa!
Eleanor: (grabs Jeanette and helps her onto the motorcycle) I got you!
Ian: I'm dead if you don't perform!
Brittany: (jumps on the motorcycle) Punch it, Alvin!
Alvin: You got it! (pulls up alongside the limo)
Ian: No! Don't!
Brittany: Hey, Ian! In the words of the Donald; "You're fired!"

(Alvin opens the throttle, driving himself and the Chipettes away.)

Ian: (jumps and slams the roof of the limo with rage) ALVIN!!!!!
Brittany: I guess I owe you an apology about Ian.
Alvin: Stick with me, Britt. (drives into a Chinese toy store) I'll never steer you wrong. (he suddenly screams, quickly turns the motorcycle around and drives out of the store.)
Brittany: Oh yeah, I'll never doubt you again!

(A remote-control helicopter flies after them, controlled by none other than Ian. He cackles maniacally, running after Alvin and the Chipettes, a controller in his hands.)

Alvin: I gotta say, he is definitely persistent.
Brittany: (glancing back at Ian) We gotta lose him!
Alvin: Hang on! (makes a U-turn and starts driving towards the helicopter) I've got a plan! Jump on the count of 3! (Alvin and the Chipettes approach the helicopter...) 3!

(Alvin and the Chipettes all jump onto the helicopter, dangling from the landing skis.)

Chipettes: Whoa!
Ian: (making the helicopter go higher) Oh, that's it.
Jeanette: I'm not really good with heights!
Brittany: Just hang on tight, Jeanette!
Ian: (making the helicopter fly closer to him) Bring my girls right to me!
Alvin: We need the remote!
Brittany: Guys, I know what to do. (takes off her helmet) It's hats off to Ian!

(The others take off their helmets and throw them at Ian)

Ian: (gets hit by the helmets, which makes him fall backwards and throw the remote in the air, causing the helicopter to spiral out of control) Whoa!
Alvin: The remote!
Brittany: (reaching her arm out) I can't reach it!
Jeanette: I'm going for it. Grab my ankles! (jumps for the remote. Eleanor takes her ankles, and Brittany takes Eleanor's. She manages to catch the remote by the antenna) I got it! (clutches the remote to her chest as she hangs upside-down and gasps, for she can hardly believe it) I got it. (Eleanor & Brittany pull Jeanette back up onto the landing skis)
Alvin: Way to go, Jen!
Brittany: Nice work, Jeanette!
Eleanor: Good going, Jen! (looks down at Ian) Hey, Ian! You were wrong! (takes off her shoes) I don't need these! (throws them down at Ian, but they accidentally hit the motorcycle, causing it to change direction) Oops.
Ian: (still on the ground, looks up to see the motorcycle drive towards his open legs. CRUNCH! The motorcycle hits him right in... you know what? I can't say it. If you're a guy, it's the most painful place to get hit in. Yep, THAT place.) OOOOOOHH!! (winces from the pain and passes out)
Jeanette: Ooh.
Brittany: Ouch.
Eleanor: My bad...
Alvin: (waves) Adios, Ian!

(Jeanette starts directing the helicopter back to West Eastman High, flying the four of them away.)

(Suddenly, the crowd VEI-8 erupts into cheers.)

Toby: (smiles, thinking the applause is for him and surprised the audience liked his performance) Thank you. Thank you. No, really, thank you. (notices the crowd looking up at a spotlight pointed at an open window) What the...?

(The helicopter flies through the window, carrying Alvin and the Chipettes.)

Alvin: The Chipettes are in the building!
Toby: It's the Chipettes! (runs off the stage)
Theodore: Alvin! (he and Simon bound to the stage)
Alvin: (waves to his brothers) Yo, Theo!
Brittany: Hello, West Eastman!
Dr. Rubin: (smiles and runs to the stage)
Jeanette: I'm putting her down, hang on! (lands the helicopter on the circular platform on the stage right as Theodore gets there to greet them)
Theodore: Alvin! (smothers Alvin in a hug)
Simon: (bounds to the platform to greet Alvin & the Chipettes) Double high-five, brother! (high-fives Alvin with both paws)
Eleanor: Yay! (hugs Theodore before running to Simon, who lifts her, spins and sets her down)
Jeanette: High-five! (tries to high-five Alvin but misses) Oh, oops.

(After letting Eleanor go, Theodore runs up to Brittany, where they exchange low-fives and wave to the crowd)

Dr. Rubin: (goes to the microphone) Ladies and gentlemen, representing West Eastman, it is my great pleasure...

(The Chipmunks and the Chipettes bound off the platform and onto the main stage as "We Are Family" starts playing in the background.)

Eleanor: This is such an honor! (giggles)
Theodore: For you or for us?
Alvin and Brittany: (in unison) For us. (their faces light up) Jinx! Double jinx! Triple-jinx! Quadruple-jinx! Infinity-jinx!
Jeanette: (interrupting them) GUYS! We get it! (Alvin & Brittany smile at each other) Huddle up, gang! (The 6 of them do so)
Simon: (whispers) Here's the plan...
Dr. Rubin: ...for the first time ever, I give you the Chipettes and the Chipmunks!

(The Chipmunks and the Chipettes break the huddle and start singing as the song explodes into the foreground.)

(After a few last dance moves, the Chipmunks assist the Chipettes in backflips and they all pose as the song crashes to an end and everyone cheers.)

Jeanette: Thank you!
Eleanor: Whoo! Thank you!
Simon: Thank you! Oh, thank you so much!
Host: (holding a check worth $25,000) Hey everybody, it's clear that we have a winner of the $25,000...and it's West Eastman High! West Eastman High! (everyone cheers)
Alvin: Guys, we did it!
Dr. Rubin: (runs up to the host and hugs him) Wow! (accepts the check and screams in excitement)
Theodore: Yeah!
Jeanette: Can you believe it?
Simon: A little something for the music department. Alright!
Dr. Rubin: (blows the Chipmunks and Chipettes a kiss)
Alvin: (pretends to get hit in the cheek by Dr. Rubin's kiss) Right back at ya, Dr. Rubes! (blows a kiss back at Dr. Rubin)
Eleanor: Whoo!!
Alvin: (high-fives Eleanor) Oh, yeah!!

(During the music break, the Chipmunks run up to Dave, who is dancing behind them; they climb onto his shoulders and hug him)

Alvin: Dave! You're dancing!
Simon: You're moving good, Dave!
Theodore: Yeah!
Simon: Welcome home.
Theodore: So, did you miss us?
Dave: Of course I missed you. You're my boys.
Simon: Cool!
Alvin: And Dave, just think how much you'd miss us if there were six of us.
Dave: Alvin, what did you say?
Alvin: Well, the Chipettes needed a place to crash, right? So, I said that you said they could stay with us for as long as they needed to.
Dave: Alvin?!
Alvin: Ok! This one's for Dave! Everybody shakes what your mama gave ya! Whoo!
(Dave hobbles into the Chipmunks and the Chipettes' bedroom, which has been rearranged completely. There are now two sets of bunk beds, three for the boys and three for the girls, on either side of the room. Alvin and Brittany got the top bunks, Theodore and Eleanor the middle, and Simon and Jeanette the bottom.)
Dave: Look at you. All ready for bed. Looks like the Chipettes are a good influence.
Brittany: Thanks Dave.
Jeanette: Thanks Dave.
Eleanor: Thanks Dave. (giggles)
Dave: Ok guys, now lights out. Goodnight, everybody.
Simon: Goodnight Jeanette.
Jeanette: Goodnight Simon.
Theodore: Goodnight Eleanor.
Eleanor: Goodnight Theodore.
Brittany: Goodnight Alvin.
(No reply)
Dave: Alvin?
Alvin: I'm not tired.
Dave: Sorry, but you've got school tomorrow. (turns the lights off, beginning to walk out of the room. Alvin jumps down next to Theodore's bed and flips a light switch, turning the lights back on)
Alvin: Not tired!
Dave: (walks back into the room) Alvin, come on, it's time for bed. (turns the lights off again, only for Alvin to turn them on again)
Alvin: Not tired!
Dave: (firmly) Alvin? (sends Alvin a warning glare, turning the lights off again, only to get the same reaction from him)
Alvin: Still not tired!
(Flip!)
Alvin: More awake!
(Flip!)
Alvin: Tired. Just kidding! Much more awake!
Dave: Alvin, that's it! Don't make me come over there!
Alvin: Ok!
(Frightened, Alvin turns the lights off; unfortunately, this causes Dave to trip on a skateboard in the hall and fall over backwards)
Dave: Whoa!
(CRASH! Alvin turns the lights back on)
Alvin: Oh boy, I suddenly got really really tired, heh heh. Night, Dave. (turns the lights off as Dave yells..)
Dave: ALVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!

(Ryan, Xander and Jeremy scrape gum from the gymnasium bleachers as punishment for the way they treated the Chipmunks.)

Dr. Rubin: Good start, gentlemen. Only 10 more rows of bleachers to go. Let's do it.

(The bullies grab their garbage bags and follow Dr. Rubin to the rest of the bleachers. Back at the Staples Center, Ian is dragged outside by the guards.)

Ian: Alright, guys. Alright. Alright. Alright, I'm out. I'm out.

(A guard opens up a nearby dumpster.)

Ian: Oh, is this necessary? (gets picked up and thrown in the dumpster.) Oh, c'mon! Oh, is that necessary? Is that— (The guards close the lid of the dumpster, cutting Ian off, and walk back inside.) (muffled) At least let me go back and get my purse.

Cast

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